508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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