He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
