I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
