No awkward lesbian experiences without me
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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