Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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