Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
