Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize