would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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