that's an acceptable place to lick
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
