"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
