omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
