accomplished twins. life is a go
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
