I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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