Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
oh god was she eating orange peels again
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
