Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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