i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I AM VODKA MAN
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
