I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
