It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I cut my penus on the lid.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Randomize
