Soap is not a condiment
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
