I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
