omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
