I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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