They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
