You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
