Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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