I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
