she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
