why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
