Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
