I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
