Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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