Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
