now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
accomplished twins. life is a go
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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