Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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