i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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