I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
