How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
