How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
