Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
