I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
