I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
