Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
