I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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