I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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