He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
