I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize