WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
This can only be settled by a dance off.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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