Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
