He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
In America we eat man semen.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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