I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I understand Curling. That high.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
third nipple confirmed
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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