Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
