I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
