The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Randomize
