But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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