ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
