I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
